“That if I was just tolerant of their gender and nothing else, which means I did not really believe in it but pretended to because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.. then I was transphobic” I mean if this is what you think and you are just using pronouns as a bare minimum effort then that is a good reason for them to be offended, as it technically tells them you think being trans isn’t real.

Your whole post is pretty confusing so I’m sorry if I get anything wrong, but if you do think that being trans isn’t real or you don’t believe in it then that is being transphobic. If you still don’t understand the difference between sex and gender and you truly want to keep these people as friends then I advise you really do your research to help you be more sensitive and appropriate when talking about trans and lgbt topics with these friends.

I think it’s okay to have sexual preferences and preferences for the person you want to love is acceptable, everyone is attracted to different things and personalities. If you know that your beliefs and interests tend to clash with particular groups of people I think it’s okay to avoid that in a relationship. With any relationship it’s important to understand what the other person wants and if that person wants a person who identifies as a man and has a penis that is 100% acceptable. If you met someone who you believed to be a man but told you they had a vagina, if you don’t want to continue a relationship with them and that’s 100% okay. If You met someone who had fully transitioned and they told you they could never have biological children because of that, that would also be an acceptable reason.

To do with your situation, I think it’s best to give them some space for a bit and really think about 1. If you want to keep these people as friends and if you’re prepared to do the learning involved to maintain that friendship 2. If you are willing to accept them as they are which is trans women and just women. Not men that became women. Just women. You have offended them and you will need to apologise if you want to be friends with them again. I think the best way to do that is to say sorry about the conversation on Skype and that you didn’t mean to/ don’t want to offend them again. Say that you accept them as the women they are (only if you mean it. If you don’t, don’t say this and I wouldn’t talk to them again until you do) And that you are still learning and making the effort to try and be more understanding.

In the future I’d avoid conversations with them you know are going cause trouble and offend them with. If they ask you about the relationship thing again, just say you like to have sex with people you like, regardless If that person happens to be trans or not.

At the end of the day I think, just from the wording of your post, that you are a bit transphobic* and that you need to do some research and really decide if you want to be friends with these people. Good luck and well done if you read of of this lmao

(“convince myself that are 100% like any woman out there” they are and if you reduce women to just people you can have sex with you are sexist as well as transphobic. “I had trouble with the concept of gender in general”. “I never was convinced about social sciences and gender studies in general” *eyeroll “even if I was not convinced of anything” sorry but that is a big deal, using pronouns isn’t enough.)