Abuse is abuse! I (f) was abused by my older sister for 11 years (started age 4) and I only realised what I had been through once I became an adult. I, too, thought 'women can't abuse' which meant I dealt with this shit for so long without asking for help and almost allowing it to happen because I didn't realise it was abuse. It wasn't consensual and my mom says she went through something similar and I should just get over it because it wasn't a man so 'it's not that bad'. So yeah, your girlfriend is in the wrong for thinking the way she does but society can teach us fucked up shit so maybe show her this thread, or explain to her that regardless of gender/sex/situation/whatever, if it made you feel like you were abused then it IS abuse and no one has the right to take that away from you. You're a victim and more importantly a survivor and should be damn proud of yourself for doing this. Ps. I too smoke to deal with it lol.