Her mother primarily is judging her about her body and her choice of employment/career.
Her mom wants to control how she eats, what supplements she takes, what kind of exercise she is doing...and wants her to have a very specific (very skinny) body shape. My girlfriend has had issues with her mom in regards to this as long as she can remember. Her mom would always say stuff like "I just want you to be happy" and then get upset if she wasn't exercising "enough".
My girlfriend is in no way unhealthy, and really cannot even be classified as overweight...she's just not as skinny as her mom would like her to be.
Second, my Girlfriend has been out of college for about 1.5 years and has been exploring her options and hasn't been able to get into a career in her "field" as her degree really requires a masters or some sort of post under-graduate certificate. My girlfriend understands that, and is getting ready to do a post-graduate certificate, but her mom is convinced that she is just dragging her feet and not achieving her (career) goals because of her mom's assumption of how much my girlfriend smokes weed (The reality is that her mom has no idea how much/if any she is smoking (not much at all, and currently not at all) (also her mom really has no idea what her career goals are). And it is legal in the state we live in, so there is no foothold for the legality argument). My girlfriend is currently happily employed at a nursery (plants) while she has been working on her credentials.
The two of us live together, and her parents moved out of state ~6 months ago. So no, she does not live with her parents and hasn't for ~3-4 years.
with christmas, we have compromised, like I said, the last two we spent with her family, and this last chirstmas we flew down to them to have christmas. I feel like it would have been more fair to do something where it was my family then hers and then mine again..etc...but soon we will be starting our own family and are going to want christmases to ourselves, so her parents may need to go 2-3 christmases without her.