To add onto the top comment (which sets it out perfectly) am am extremely alarmed that she is effectively trying to erase your position as the children's mother to enable er dysphoria. If she wants to be called mom too - fine, but you do not lost that part of your identity because she is trans.

You have literally sacrificed every single aspect of your happiness and marriage in order to comfort her and support her transition at your detriment. Please do not forget that your feelings are valid and so is your want and need to be happy.

I am sad that your marriage is over but you should not be shoehorned into relationship with Jessa when you are a heterosexual female. It is time to leave and to get a therapist for your children who can help them with the transition.

Also - not being sexually attracted to women (including trans women) is NOT transphobia.