Me: Look at POTUS and look around. "Uh, Mr. President, what may I ask are you doing in my kitchen, sir?"
Obama: gazes up at me and offers a toothy smile. "Oh hi, e3. Didn't know when you'd get up. There's a pot of coffee there," pointing to the counter, "and I made some eggs"--points to the oven and peers into my eyes--"sunny-side up, right?"
Me: nodding slowly, "Yes... Yes." still nodding. "Yes, sir."
Obama: "Good. I just started the New York Times crossword. Don't mind me." With brow furrowed, he resumes his the crossword.
Me: Planted in the same spot, "Sir, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing in my kitchen? And how'd you bypass my alarm." I look around. "Wait. I didn't hear Max bark. How'd you get past Max." My shoulders crawl upward. "Sir, um, where's Max?"
Obama: "Max? That's what you call your deaf chihuahua?" Obama smiles graciously. "Max is fine. Two of my guys," pointing outside to four brutes standing guard at the front door, "took him along for their morning Taco Bell run. Don't worry. Max is fine." He dips his head and resumes the crossword.
Me: "Sir? If you don't mind my asking, what are you doing in my kitchen?"
Obama: "That's a fair question." He lays the paper down on the dining table and looks up. His kind eyes flicker in the morning light. "Let's see. Had an argument with Michelle. She made me sleep on the couch, and I couldn't sleep." He pauses and chuckles to himself. "You can be president of the United States. But when you screw up and your wife tells you to get out of the bedroom, you do what she tells you. Anyway, I was on the couch, thinking about Syria when I realized there was no way I was going to get any asleep, not with game 7 of the NBA finals looming. Boy, this series with the Warriors and Cavs really is turning out to be more competitive than I imagined." He tilts his head ever so slightly. "I guess my message to NBA Commissioner, Adam Silver, must've gotten through. Down 3-1, Cleveland's come back to tie it 3-3. I owed the state of Ohio -- the elections and all. Anyway, I couldn't sleep, and I told the boys I wanted to go for a walk. I walked a few blocks and just kept walking. And here I am."
Me: "But sir, I live in Manhattan."
Obama: "Ahh. That."