I am currently working with a female (I'm male) that we both consider we're pretty close. She calls me "big brother" in our native language, and she tells me everything, that's how close. She has recently made a claim that one of our mutual friends has sexually assaulted her. I saw the texts and heard her side of the story.

Basically they both got drunk and high together and they were both fucked up and they were laying on the couch together "spooning" and watching anime and he made a move. I will say he's always had a thing for her and she's a flirty type of person who has been hanging out with him and at his house many times. And I've been there for many. There has never been any sign of misconduct or accusation from either of them. Well I haven't talked to him about it because he moved to another company and we haven't talked since. I know the guy, he's a decent guy. We've talked about women before and it's never disrespectful or inappropriate. I know the girl. The first thing she told me in conversation was how her ex boyfriend was physically, sexually, and mentally abusive to her and even tried to murder her. This was the FIRST conversation we had when she started working at our company. I thought it terribly sad, but felt uncomfortable. But people go through some crazy shit so I believed her, felt bad for her and was glad she got out of that.

I like her, but she is the type to make up stories to seem interesting or to have easy conversation. She has "built her own racecar" and "created a working jet engine" and even "raced said racecar" in a race tournament etc. Don't get me wrong, she may have done these things, but the way she embellishes makes me suspect a lot of things she says. She's pretty smart but I have friends that are literal rocket scientists, aerospace engineers, and electrical and mechanical engineers and these people are much more intellectual and intelligent than she is and don't brag about their work or how smart they are.

So anyway, in the same conversation she told me this mutual friend sexually assaulted her, she mentioned that she didn't know what to do about it, and didn't want to ruin his life, but in the same thought process said she "was next in line for his job". She immediately got awkward after that moment and I felt it too. But I continued to listen and didn't acknowledge what she had just said.

This girl is manipulative, and it saddens me to know that her word carries more weight than his. In his text he clearly apologizes the next day and said he messed up and was drunk/high and thought she wanted the same thing, since she was there until very early in the morning on the couch with him and they were cuddling. Spooning. What is a guy supposed to think, especially when under the influence. I'm not excusing anything and don't want to come off as making an excuse or justifying bad behavior. Alcohol and weed do lower inhibitions, it's a real thing and I know I've experienced it (talking to the people that drink/smoke socially).

As a male, we're just EXPECTED to make the first move by society as a whole, and if it is unwanted most would be like oops, well I had to try. Some have different motives yes. Nowadays "had to try" could land us in jail or have our lives completely ruined. It's very sad and very scary where our society is and is headed.