NSFW Nutting on a random stranger

Affected by the new reality of the ever-changing world, Santa at least once attempted to modernize. He took to wearing a smaller beard, using a more lavish fake beard on Christmas. The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals then forced Santa to rebuild his sleigh so that it ran on its own power, not from being pulled by the reindeer. Claus initially used steam until an oil company representative (possibly from the Roxxon Oil Company) convinced him to switch over to high-octane fuel. Caught up in this trend, Santa opened up a nuclear power plant and gas station at the North Pole. The plan was actually controlled, however, by Greedy Killerwatt, who had been a "jumper" (worker hired to enter "hot" areas of nuclear plants to do various tasks) mutated into a form resembling a lightbulb. Santa took in a convict named Pinball Lizard, after conferring with his parole officer, as director of his Fun N' Games department. However, Pinball Lizard fell in with Greedy Killerwatt, who used his powers to change Pinball into a lizard-like being, as well as mutating many of Santa's elves into trolls. Attempting to destroy Santa Claus by putting an insufficient amount of gas in his sleigh so he would crash, Pinball took over the workshop and forced elves who did not become trolls to construct mass-produced, shoddy toys while Santa went on his rounds. Killerwatt intended to take over Christmas in revenge against society for his mutation. Santa crashed in Cleveland, where he encountered Howard the Duck. Discovering that he was out of fuel, Santa realized that since gas rationing was in effect, he could not get enough fuel to return to the Arctic. However, Howard, who worked at the "To Hack and Back" taxi company at the time, offered to let Claus use their pumps. Howard filled the tank, and he and the young Carol Starkowitz (daughter of Claude Starkowitz, designer of the "Iron Duck" armor) went to the North Pole with Claus. Mrs. Claus told them of Pinball Lizard's rebellion, and Santa, Howard, Carol, the loyal elves, toys animated by elf magic, and a gun-toting elf named Sunquist (originally from Florida) drove off Pinball Lizard and his trolls, who escaped via dirigible. However, the nuclear power plant still threatened to "melt down" through the center of the earth until it reached Antarctica, thus destroying the world. Pinball Lizard rendezvoused with Killerwatt, who dispatched mutated seals, polar bears, penguins, and whales against Howard the Duck and his compatriots, who were joined by Chief Ollakook of a local Unuit tribe. Howard and Carol sidestepped the mutated animals to find Pinball Lizard, whom Howard speared in the tail. Sunquist shot Killerwatt in the head, and Killerwatt's injury undid his mutations, returning Pinball Lizard and the others to normal. Santa promised to shut down the nuclear power plant, swearing to convert the toy shop to solar power, and to power his sleigh with organic fuels, as Sunquist had recommended all along.

/r/WTF Thread Parent Link - gfycat.com