Initially I was rebellious because I came from a home with a parent who I loved adored in my childhood and he revealed himself to be:

• physically abusive
• manipulative and controlling
• sexually inappropriate (man, those two words are loaded)
  

I remember many of my teachers telling me that I had potential, but that wasn't the story I was being fed at home, day in, day out, so I didn't believe it. As a result I just ended up lashing out, making poor decisions, and flailing at life. I ended up marrying someone just like my father.

Long view:
I was an insecure, snivelling, weak person who didn't believe in herself. Once things got serious and I had to step up, I discovered I was incredibly strong, smart and oozing with whatever is required to survive. Yay me!!

I've chosen to look at my youth as a learning experience and focus on what I discovered through therapy. But it's never easy and it never goes away 100%.

The up side? I have grown comfortably into being as kind, honest, dependable, scrupulous, trustworthy a person as I can possibly be. I'm not perfect but I'm damn good. I'm happy with the person I've become. Not sure if I'd be this way if the road hadn't been so difficult.