This thread is so yesterday, but there's one more story that I have that's probably very entertaining. It's more of a saga really and contains some of the pettiest things I've ever done. These events made my life miserable for a year, so why not at least get a story out of it?
So when I got to grad school, I moved into a house that'd basically been converted into apartments because I wanted to live somewhere ~aesthetic~. Little did I know that the landlord is a shady POS who regularly violates tenants' rights and does things that are straight-up illegal, or that one of my walls has zero insulation. Things were pretty okay until someone moved into the apartment next to me. My first neighbor was a quiet older lady who moved out after a few months because she got tired of being able to hear me speak. The trouble truly begun with the next set of neighbors, who were so insufferable that I bullied them into moving.
The next people who moved in were a young couple about my age. I guess they were trying to play house. The first event that occurred was when they played a movie well into the night, disrupting my sleep. I can tolerate a lot of bullshit, but I get extremely pissy when someone interferes with my sleep, so the next day, I decided to do the immature thing and demonstrate how thin the walls were by blasting loud music well into the night while they banged on the wall to try and get me to stop. At about 4am I decided enough was enough and went to sleep. The fun began when I left the house the next morning and found an extremely sarcastic, condescending note taped to my door. It even had little hearts and shit on it.
I can't stand being condescended to, but this note was just so full of it that I couldn't help but find it funny and passed it around to my friends. I also kind of enjoyed the fact that they sent this to me thinking that it was clever and degrading given that I'm a skilled writer and rhetorician. I'm a master at condescension. So I wrote my own passive-aggressive note. I don't really remember the contents, but I think it was just an attempt to dismiss the self-congratulatory feelings that they had about the note and told them that it was so funny that I passed it around to my colleagues in order to embarrass them.
A few days later, as I was walking outside, the male half of the couple approached me and basically asked me why I had blasted loud music. I told him that it was a proof of concept regarding the wall. It was a fairly calm conversation, but the guy said "use your words" as I was sputtering to give an answer, which basically made me lose any sense of remorse for what I did. Oh, I'd use my words alright.
So this couple was the first in a string of couples who fought constantly. Sometimes I'd wake up from their fighting. The girl seemed like a whiny, insecure bitch, while the guy was a sanctimonious douche. This went on and on for months and disrupted my work and sleep habits greatly. Like every time the guy came home from work (the girl was a "photographer" lmao), the shit would start up again. At this point, I was at the end of my rope and decided to be petty again.
It took two notes a couple months apart to get them to leave. At this point I'd learned from my boss precisely which words could be used to degrade people, so I packed them into the notes. 'it must be so humiliating to know that other people can listen to your personal problems', 'i'm embarrassed for you', that sort of thing. In the second one, I upped the ante and basically analyzed their relationship and told them why it was unhealthy. In the second one, I also recommended couple's counseling, lol. They left within two weeks, breaking their lease and having to still pay $250 per month despite another tenant taking their place. The next tenant was a fucking basketcase who made the police a regular guest at the house.
cont.