Man, I don’t wanna go away forever. I don’t want this anxiety.

I just want to go somewhere after I die, hopefully somewhere nice. I don’t want to live believing nothing happens once we die. We didn’t exist before birth but our first existence begins, what’s to say it ends, we existed in a state of unexistence? Perhaps we’ve always existed. Perhaps we wake up from a simulation when we die. I could still be a baby in the true reality and right now I’m living a simulated life to prepare me for actual real life and figure out my purpose before life truly begins.

Perhaps people got religion wrong and it was the idea of organized religion and so many of them that fucked everything up.

Some believe there’s no god and we just came to exist. Some believe there is a god and we just came to exist. Some believe there was an intent for that.

No matter what we say or believe whatever is destined to happen will happen, regardless of it being happy or sad.

What do I believe? Something, scientific reasons not because of my anxiety and just wanting to believe in something to make me happy but because I strive off of knowledge and science, proof. NDEs, quantum mechanics, physics, biology and evolution, chemistry, math, all that good stuff. When you’re chemically dead you’re dead, if you’re having an NDE when you’re chemically dead well then guess what you’re likely off to something that isn’t eternal oblivion! Or are you?

Anyways I wish I didn’t see this and my existential dread didn’t cause me to write whatever I just wrote, :(