I moved to Nevada in 2018 for a job. I didn't have any family or friends in the area and I was in a pretty dark place and for a while I had a concrete plan to kill myself. I bought everything I needed to finish the job and had a set date.

Then I met this girl at a bus station. She went by Moon but I don't know her real name. When we first met we spent hours talking about random stuff and it was the first time in over a year that I felt connected to someone and wanted to stay alive. We hung out once after that. I went over to her place one night after work and we spent hours just talking even though I was exhausted. Eventually I said as much and she said I could take a nap in her bed.

We laid there and talked for a while longer. She closed her eyes but had her hand on me and was rubbing lightly with her thumb in a warm affectionate way and it's such a small detail but I remember exactly how it felt. I spent a while after she fell asleep just looking at her. There were so many "perfect first kiss" moments that night, but the part I left out is that had a girlfriend back in MN and I shouldn't have gone there in the first place. I know I should have said I was taken, but I didn't want to lose the one person that made me want to keep going. I left when I realized that it was either that or do something that we would both regret. That was the last time I saw her. We still spoke occasionally and made some plans but I backed out every time.

I told my girlfriend about it and she was more understanding than I deserved, but she also knew how bad things had gotten and was just grateful that I had someone to help me through that.

I still daydream about going back to Reno, finding Moon, and running away together, but she's probably found someone by now. Besides it would have been more creepy than cute since we haven't spoken in years and only knew each other for a couple of months. Still though. It's a nice place to escape to when things get heavy.