I dated a girl about 15 years ago. The first time I ever saw her I just started smiling and had butterflies in my stomach out of pure excitement as I started walking towards her to give her a hug and say “It’s so great to see you again!” Then I realized I had never seen her before and awkwardly stopped mid-stride and just kind of looked at her in confusion.

Apparently she got flustered as well. I was working the front desk in a gym and she had to trade her car keys for a towel. When she was done working out she gave me the towel and walked out the door without her keys. Then had to come back in after trying to open her car and crimson-faced get the keys I was holding in my hands.

We had an on again off again relationship (she was back and forth between the city and the mountain town I lived in a lot) that ultimately spanned probably a little over a year, year and a half before we finally broke it off amiably instead of trying to maintain a long distance relationship.

Whenever we spent time together it was a non-stop conversation about life, the universe, and everything. I had never been with someone who I could sit up until 3am with just thinking out loud. It changed my entire perception of what a relationship can be. We wrote some letters when she was out of town. And talked on the phone a bunch. But it was just ridiculous to try to maintain a relationship like that when we were both so young and had so much going on.

The last time I ever spoke to her was several months after we had broke things off. She called me and (falsely) accused me of something I don’t feel like getting into. It was the only time I ever remember having an argument with her. Haven’t spoken to her since.

The next time I saw her was on the cover of a magazine. And the next time I heard her voice was on an NPR interview when I was driving one day. My (then) wife was singing along to the song snippets they were playing during the interview. It was a surreal experience.

We have the same birthday, this girl and I, so I think about her at least once a year when I silently wish her a happy birthday.

I wonder how much of that amazing, intelligent, thoughtful, sensitive, and beautiful young woman remains after all of these years of fame and paparazzi.