Group 1: My Fulbright cohort. Most people knew they were only going to be here for a year or two, so it was a very party-every-night, RyanAir-every-weekend crowd. I enjoyed it then, but met my husband along the way, settled down, and didn't leave... but all my friends did.

Group 2: Awkward Meetup.com groups. I never really liked the vibe at any of these, from the US Democratic Party group that skewed quite old, to the "queer women" group that judged me immediately for being bi and taken, to the board game nights that were either overcrowded or exclusive or oddly both. A common language doesn't mean you'll get along with everyone and feel comfortable everywhere.

Group 3: TEFL colleagues. Most of them fit the "few months here, few months there, party everywhere, never learn the local language" stereotype. We're all screwed over as underpaid freelancers so we bond by ranting about crappy work/insurance/Ausländerbehörde experiences and potential exit plans from this godforsaken industry. Turnover and transience are high, so it's hard to invest emotions or energy into friendships that dissolve instantly when people constantly move.

Group 4: Grad school. Pretty similar to 3, but with more folks from non-Anglophone countries whose English just happens to be stronger than their German.

All along the way, I've had a mostly German social circle, and the only other foreigners I hang out with tend to be bilingual like me. I guess that puts me in the "immigrant who acts like they're better than other expats" crowd, but I've tried and it just isn't my scene anymore. I'm a lifer here anyway so integrating among ze Germans probably isn't the worst thing.