Yes i could relate that its showing the behaviour of an abused dog, if you (not your husband) really have the dane’s trust, next time when he growls just hold him on his neck and assert a serious “NO”, if he calms down slowly then i think you could fix this by yourself, if he does not then please take him to a dog behaviourist, also try the above method if and ONLY IF you are 101% confident that you have the dogs trust. P.S Danes are calm when they are sleeping but in this case i would recommend you to not put him in the same room while sleeping beside your husband or especially your daughter, even a small accident could cause a minor damage.at least not until you get a solution to this issue. Hoping for your best, Take care.