Honestly I believe in God's kingdom. Indoctrinated I guess. I've been sinning in other ways for years and this particular"sin" has made me feel completely different. Like I can't even pray anymore. I don't even think when they DA you that they even tell you that you can wright a letter if you have a change of heart. In fact, notice in the letter to the body of elders from 2000 regarding these matters. Notice the scripture used is for the antichrist and it's worded specifically for only the ones who fail to remain neutral. "Not of our sort" while we remain neutral. Not sure if you have access to the letter but someone above added a link to it. Honestly I believe this is the unforgivable sin to them.