I'm a gay Muslim.

To answer your question whether it strengthen or swayed my belief, it did both. Still probably struggling with my faith being gay as a Muslim.

Why?

As a Muslim, having pre-marital sex is forbidden. You have to be married with your partner before you can do so. In my case there is no such thing as Gay Marriage. Thus, I have to refrain from relationship and be alone forever.

First off, I have to accept the fact that I can't be with any guy. Even if I somehow ended up a relationship with a guy, I can't have sex or kiss them. I don't mind but he probably would.

Next thing come to mind was being left alone for my whole life. What would my parents, my uncles, my aunts, my cousins, my nephew, my siblings would ask me.

This what made me question my belief. I then asked myself these questions; Why would I live in this world just to live alone? Why am I even gay? Why?

In my head, at least, I want a chance in a sexless relationship with a guy but I know it's almost close to 0% of having.

After all, as a Muslim, we believe that this world is nothing but a test from God and the "real life" is in the afterlife where people would end up in hell or heaven depending on how well we did in our "test".

Thus, it all ended up as; Do you want to do this and go against what God has told you not to do OR Obey to what God has told you and not to do. The latter is what Islam is about, where we give in and submit to God.