I have a few I guess I can share, others I can't due to the legality of them. and there are others I have mentioned to others before but since learned to keep my mouth shut. Oh where to begin.......

When I was about 6-7 years old, one of my older brothers, and a friend of his, wanted to play, where all I wanted was their acceptance (since they ditched me every chance they got.), so they pulled me into a closet and convinced me to suck on their cocks. at that time I had no idea what sex was, years later I realized what they had me do and I am sickened by the thought to this day. also when I was around 10 years old my brother and that same kid pushed me over the head of a dam to where I couldn't fight the current, I almost died but instead of fighting the current I used it to bring me to one of the joists supports allowing me a chance to climb out, where my brother and his friend ran off (and then denied everything), but then my father found me and spanked the crap out of me for swimming at the dam and he refused to listen to me. That friend of his died a few years later of cancer. and my brother seems to have changed for the better once he was gone, got religious and what not. He got married then divorced, had 3 sons and a daughter, 2 of the sons died in auto accidents, the other so retarded he ended up in a home. his daughter turned out fine though, but one day she was bike riding with a friend of hers, her friend ended up with leg cramps, so she asked for the cramps to be massaged out, so he tried, only for the girl to tell her parents and they filed a complaint, which in the end got him put away for being a child molester, even though he has never molested any of his children. he was never all that bright though. but what gets me is a part of me feels like he is getting his payback from what he done and put me through too, so a part me me feels like he deserved it, then i feel guilty for not being more forgiving.

I was bullied so much in all my grade schools that it became a routine way of life, complain to my family and they just told me to learn to fight back, even though much of the time it was 3 or more kids against just me. asked my parents to at least help me take self defense classes but they said it cost to much, and the school didn't want to do crap about it, at one point I even tried asking the police to help me ad they said its a school problem and didn't want to get involved.. finely when in 9th grade this one bully kept humiliating me every chance he got all the school season finely I just fucking had it, and brought a gun to school, I let one of his friends see it then ditched it off school grounds near where he liked to jump me from, the school done a locker check on everyone but found nothing, later when he tried to jump me again I so badly wanted to blow his ass away but I didn't, after that day he didn't try and come after me again but by then it was to late, I just couldn't stay there no more, I felt like I was the butt end of a joke the whole town over. so I dropped out and took to travailing the USA.

While I was travailing In some southern states the police took me to the side and beat the crap out of me warning me, a transient, to never enter their counties again, when I was just passing through to begin with. then at one point a gay cop at gun point raped me, i was so shell shocked my mind just couldn't function, I tried to fight but lost. well anyways, I finely decided to go back home, where as I watched my sister complain she was worried one of her new friends might rape her, she got tons of sympathy and support even though nothing ever actually happened, so I told them my story, and all they done was tell me to keep my mouth shut about it, as if it was shameful that I allowed it to happen, that it was my fault for being out on that road, I tried telling one other and all he said is I didn't fight hard enough because if I did I would have either won or died in the attempt then to be humiliated in such a way. Finely I just said fuck it, I was disgusted with my families lack of support for me, so I went back to the road. years later I got into trouble for drugs, and couldn't make parole unless I had an address to give them, so I was basically forced to go back to my family home. where I later met my soon to be wife.

My abusive ex-wife, she used our child against me to get me to do what she demanded. telling me if I didn't she would take our child from me and I wouldn't get to see him again, and I believed her because all I ever heard in the news and the like is men getting shafted out of their children. but for years she demanded an AD&D type sexual story time, when she was young she got sexually abused by her mother and her boyfriends, then she done the same to her younger brothers, so then she demanded of me incestuous stories, (i didn't know that side of her until after we had gotten married), but it got to my head so bad to the point i was starting to want to give her those fantasies just to keep her happy because otherwise she made my life a living hell. she was Vary abusive and controlling. then one day I got drunk and just wanted to be left alone to do my own thing but she nagged me to give her one of her sick and perverted fantasies, and i just couldn't take it and without thinking I beat the holy living crap out of her, which after I felt really bad for, I have never hurt a person before nor have I ever since. but she did leave, and kept to her word true, she alienated our child from me, only for years later our son realized the truth and alienated him self from her too, but he still wants nothing to do with me. when during the divorce my family only told me that the courts are always for the women and it would cost to much to fight her, so they didn't even try to help me.

After my divorce I soon met anther woman, this one over 400 miles away from my family (which suited me just fine, met her over the net), we moved in together, had a baby, things went great till I realized she had a wondering eye, eventually she found someone new then told me he had prestige and money, where I was working just it was going to take me time to build up with this starting over, but i was pulling more then my share, esp since she had 5 kids already. I always wanted to be a family man, just no women really ever took interest till my ex-wife (which was a disaster), she did try and turn me against her ex-husbands (the fathers of her other children) but I refused, well anyways she kicked me out to pursue her new relationship with this new guy, and dumped all the kids on their perspective fathers. but when she kicked me out she also kicked our then 19 month old baby with me to go live in a car in the middle of winter, having no place yet to go I asked one of her ex's to put me up till I can at least find a new place to live and he gladly done so. then about 3 months later, after I been trying to push the mother into at least spending some time with our child, she turned and tried to take all her kids away from their perspective fathers, the new guy she found had all kinds of money and was so jealous of anyone that had ever been with her that he pushed her hard to go for full custody of all the kids. she even got a restraining order against me and tried to claim I was abusive thus taking temporary custody of our child. I was terrified, deep down I was so afraid of losing my son that I felt if trying through the courts didn't work that I would have to off her later to get my child back (and I thought of 101 ways to do it too and make it all look like an accident), but in the end it all worked out, I let the other fathers fight her first in court, draining their bank accounts, and worked in support of the other fathers (which REALLY pissed her off. then when it came to her abuse alligations as it turned out it made her look really bad, after all, if I was such a bad parent then why did she basically abandon him with me for those 3 months? not to mention I took him too all his doctor appointments and the like and etc, and the female judge really hated that the mother dumped me right out of her home and got right with a new guy then turned on all the children's fathers., I could have won much more custody then I did, but I told the judge regardless of what I felt about the mother the child has the right to grow up knowing both parents, and the mother was not abusive, just a bit negligent. so we settled for 50/50, after that and losing most all custody of her other children, she dumped the new guy, became homeless for a while, got her shit together again, then decided she only wanted to see our kid like 2-4 days out of the month, the rest of the time he is with me.

I left a lot out, but this is the jest of it, and thats my story.