Loosing someone today I've been with for over 3 years. There is been only 1 day in the time we have been together that we did not see each other. We went so well together and everything between us just seem to work except one thing. I have bad trust issues due to my past and she has a female friend I don't trust her being around. She said it wasn't working out earlier today and about 3 hours ago I dropped everything off at her house with no go back. She thinks I don't trust her but I do. It's difficult to explain, but there's a snowball effect with my distrustfuness. If someone is around I don't trust then I start questioning everything in my head that might I might is suspicious and sometimes it pours out into me questioning her. I did what I could to talk to her but she told me she needed time and I couldn't stop that. I feel like she is set of no longer being with me (I feel like her friend contributed to that which makes me have even more resentment but I'm choosing to leave it be and move forward) and I will let her go because I don't want to hurt any by hanging on to something that won't come back. Out of all my past relations with person was someone who I legitimately felt I could say I loved, not only loved but who I appreciated. It's hard to write this and no one will probably read it but I need to say it, I need it off my shoulders and to finally let it be. I'm sure I sound like a hopeless romantic or whatever who doesn't know what love is, but when you spend every single day with someone for 3 years you become use to having that there, you become use to lying down with them and cuddling, use tickling, spanking, playfulness while cooking or doing dishes, use to good night kisses, use to getting groceries together, use to sending each other cute pictures, use to hearing her voice, use to growling at each other use to waking up knowing someone is there, use to doing everything with just the fact someone is there in your heart. All this weighs heavy my mind, my heart, and my body. I've never had a problem moving on, but this is going to be difficult. I'm going to have to drag myself out of bed every day. I'm going to have to get in bed without and good night kisses. We just worked. But in the end we didn't work out. I finally saw the tole my distrustfuness took on her after it was too late. I'm fairly reasonable and she knows this, I tried talking to her and explaining that I did in fact make mistake, I let her know that I would sit down and talk with her in the future if it ever came to a negative point again but I'd do everything I could to stray away from my distrustfuness (not just for her but for myself too). It's too late now, there's no going back, there's no texting her I miss her, there's no going to see her, it's over and I wish it wasn't.