Oh boy, story time. Gather 'round boys and gals.

TL;DR: Mom was nuts, ran away to live with my dad. Presently, mild fits of paranoia and self-doubt once in a blue moon, along with believing people always have a hidden agenda. But overall normal now.

Alright, so, at a young age (I think back when I was in 2nd grade) my parents got divorced. I didn't really understand what was going on, all my parents told me were the basic "we'll be living a part" along with "two Christmases!" so young me was content for the time.

As I grew older I began to notice more and more my mother was incredibly controlling and always seemed to get her way. I just assumed mothers in general were like that and never really questioned it since I didn't have a lot of friends to compare mothers to (I moved like every 2-3 years so I just played a ton of video games).

In 8th grade I began to play WoW (World of Warcraft) with some friends who introduced me to it. It was pretty fucking balling and I had a blast with my buddies. Come the summer after I come back from visiting my dad, and surprise! My mother got re-married (so 3rd marriage at this point for her) to a guy me and my sister had met once. The guy was a cool dude, so nothing against him. However when I suddenly made some genuine friends who shared the same interests as me (gaming, back when playing a ton of PC/Video games didn't seem 'right' in the social norm), I was pretty upset because we were moving like 3 hours away. I didn't get a say or anything and was promised I could visit them any time I want, but that never happened.

So I ended up just playing WoW with my buddies all the time during high school. My mother started getting upset that I was on my computer all the time and began taking away my computer time 'because it isn't healthy!' Was totally fine if I stare at the TV all day, but god forbid me playing a game that my friends were on and I could interact with them. Also, my dad got into the game as a way to be able to communicate with me (my mother was very aware of this).

You might be going, "but wait dralas64, she could have been trying to make sure you got good grades/tried to social so you could be normal/<insert reason here>"

My grades were 4.0, I wasn't dumb, I knew how to socialize, I just didn't bring people home ever since the one time I did, it was a gay buddy and my mother said "Oh my God! You know he's gay?! Are you gay? Do we need to go to church more?!"

Yeah not the way to motivate me to want to ever bring friends over.

"Why not go visit your friends?"

My desktop wasn't 'my' desktop; and when I got a laptop, that wasn't allowed to leave the house "cause you'll just play that dumb game all day."

Meanwhile, if you're wondering what my father is doing, he's doing fine. He got re-married and is still married to my current stepmother. My mother tried to spoon feed us that he was a drunk, a bad guy, etc. My father only drank during soccer games when he was home or at a stadium game we were all attending, was really light when he did, and never drove afterward.

My dad is fucking great; he referee's soccer, is an engineer, didn't play the passive-aggressive bullshit game my mother always does, was straight-forward and honest, pretty much the man if I could be half of what he is today, I'd die a happy man.

Back to the main story; so my computer time begins to get taken away. This is what began to piss me off because I never did anything bad or wrong to deserve this. Yeah, I got into fights with my sister every so often or forgot to take out the trash occasionally, BUT JESUS I'M A TEENAGE BOY, like, do you not remember your teenage years? Getting grounded for 2 weeks because I said my sister was being stupid about a spider in her room? Being grounded for a month because my mother thinks I was purposely washing the car 'wrong' so I'd get out of it in the future? (I just sucked at washing cars; didn't know how to stop suds from drying up and leaving spots).

Like, really, fuck that noise. The tipping point is when she began to plan out what college and profession I would be going into with me not having any say in it. When I said "Man I'd love to work for Blizzard! (company who makes WoW) my mother EXPLODED at me saying 'it would be so pointless.' Telling this to a fucking 15 year old teenager? Like JESUS, way to support your kid's dreams, even if it was just a spur of the moment kind of deal.

Also another event that happened shortly around this time is when I said "What would you think of me living with dad?" She was upset and crying when I said that of course, but not in the genuine way. You don't say stuff like "If you leave your dog can't live with us anymore!" if you're just upset about your kid leaving. That was her holding the dog hostage, my friend since I was in 5th grade and who has slept in my bed every night since then.

So I talk with my dad about all this and he talks to a lawyer. I had a car at this point and my dad informs me that if I ran away and drove all the way to where he was, he could call the court and do something along the lines of 'emergency custody' or something like that. Basically instead of going through like 5-8 months of custody battles because the courts favor mothers over fathers HEAVILY in America, I could just go live with him immediately. I would be 16 at that time and would be considered old enough to make that decision so my father wouldn't have to fly me back on a plane.

So I run away when my parents and siblings go pick up this foreign exchange student at the airport. I didn't have to go since I was going to this 'help out a freshman!' event at my high school that were training juniors + senior students a week before school began. Couldn't take the dog at the time because I didn't think he'd handle the 24 hour drive with a 16 year old teenage guy dodging cops at midnight.

Holy shit the amount of bullshit I found out my mother had been doing from my father was unreal. She had been blackmailing him for years, not with stuff like "You have a horrible secret!" but with, "if you don't pay for X thing (even though he paid MORE than his fair share on child support), I won't let you see your kids this summer/winter/etc."

She also has been manipulating us kids for YEARS and I became aware of it but had to keep playing since I was a minor. Whether it be stuff like "You have to spend your hard-earned money on a car so you can start running errands for us" even though I wanted to save it for college since I was fine riding a bike or taking the bus, or "I can't believe you would do such a thing!" in front of my whole damn family over some petty thing that she'd blow up to unreal proportions rather than sit down privately and discuss it.

When I arrived at my father's place, I just UNLOADED every bullet in my damn arsenal on her that I had. Utterly obliterated her in every argument over the phone that day because she didn't have any more leverage over me (which was my dog, my stuff, and pretty much the fact I needed a place to sleep) so I didn't play her game. Called out every passive-aggressive comment, every single time she did something super hypocritical, or God knows what else because I've had to try and forget how much hate she made me feel back then for just everything.

After I was out of her hands, I had tendencies and behaviors that I didn't shake for a long time. I never believed people did something "just to be nice." Could hardly talk to women since I thought they were all out to get me and just make fun of me. Thought women hated sex and 'simply tolerated it.' All that kind of fun stuff and more.

Did I turn out as some fucked up kid that needed therapy? Nope. In fact when I went to live with my dad, the court ordered (in order to satisfy my mother who was convinced I ran away to my dad to just play wow all day) for me to go to a therapist to evaluate me. I was brutally honest with the guy, and he just said "you're normal, your mother is a bit controlling though."

Wasn't until last year I began to have some sort of conversation with her again. Was always as generic as they come, "how's the weather, good to hear you're in decent health, have a nice day" bit.

But, you know what? Despite all this and the fact this tale has holes in it that I just don't feel like filling in right now because holy shit this wall of text is huge as it is, I'm doing okay. I've almost severed all ties with my mother's side of the family due to these events and only call her when my dad asks me to, but there are some positives.

Looking back, I do know my mother was controlling, but she probably was doing what she thought was best at the time.

Her manipulative behavior did make me begin looking through other people's eyes (at first to play her game, then later helped me become open minded about all sorts of ideas, whether it be politics, backgrounds of people, and other things).

I was able to avoid behaviors I saw her do to other people because I promised myself I'd never act like that (so ya'know, kinda like learning 99 ways how to not make a light bulb work).

And I'm sure there are a few other things she ended up helping me out on in the end. I'm married now, my wife has managed to free me of that mind-set I had about women before and I've never been happier.

I still love my mother because I realize she did in fact do some good for me in my life. She's not evil, she's misguided and stubborn. I still can't find it in me to forgive her for the stuff she's done to my father, but I do know she's my mom, and if someone else were to make fun of my mother, and you can know for a fact I'll their sorry ass into the ground just as hard as if they said anything about my father in the same light.