Not to give you false hope, but I was in a similar situation with a guy who literally left me crying, alone and pregnant in NYC the day before we got married. (we had been together for three years and planned marriage, no it wasn't a shotgun, just timing)

I could write novels about the emotionally stunted and plain cruel shit this guy has done and said to me in the past six years we have been together.

It was very slow and humiliating progress, but he did change. I would quietly deal with his shit, placate him, and then later, very gently point out his hypocrisies (in joke format).

If I made it a joke, he could save face while accepting his faults. It even got to the point where he laughs and jokes about forcing me to make all the decisions, that way if it was the wrong decision, it would be my fault. If he never chooses, he can never be wrong see? Ha. Ha. . . . HA.

Now, I get backrubs. And surprise breakfast in bed. And, dear god, he does the dishes! And tells me how much he appreciates me! Last night he actually said, "Even if we ever got divorced, I'd still love you. You're the best, baby."

A BIG part of it was his own self esteem. For some reason, my guy never felt he was good enough. Like other guys had it better than him and it wasn't his fault. He just never seemed to know what he wanted to be when he''d grow up.

Once he accepted that he wasn't going to be the President or a Ninja, it got easier for me.

I know I going on and on about myself, but except for "respect", you haven't told us much else to go on. (And you shouldn't either). I'm just telling you my overall situation so you can compare, contrast and formulate.