Tl; dr: watching my own blood thin because of the choices I made for a man prompted me to Gtfo.
I packed and left while my abusive ex was a work one day. We have a son together who at the time was six months old. I didn't recognize the signs of verbal abuse before it became physical. He did horrible things, including choking my best friend, holding her against a door with her feet a foot off the ground when she tried to come to my defense. Would go out and get wasted with friends and come home in the dead of night, forcing me out of bed and attempting to force me to have sex with him. He wouldn't allow me a phone m I couldn't have any friends. He had his crazy neighbor watching the house and any time a car was there the neighbor would phone and tell him. I once got a black eye as soon as he walked in the door bc the neighbor said a weird minivan was in the drive earlier. It was my mother in her new car. He brought his nodding out sister over once to babysit do I could partake in an evening OUT with him once. I took one look at her and refused. She went crazy and tried to fight me. I refused, although I probably would have beat her blind after the strength I'd gained fending off her brother constantly. He convinced her to swing on me. I threw her out of the front door and locked it. He grabbed me up and threw me across the room, opened the door and dragged me out by my hair and deposited me at his sister's feet. Cops pull in as he's dropping my hair, claims I'm lying.
He's done lots of atrocious acts to me, but I clearly remember the straw that broke the camel's back. He was angry one Saturday morning I took longer than he thought was necessary at the grocery store. I had jars of baby food on the counter, Apple juice, rice, etc. He didn't like my response, "how fast do you think I can get through a damn grocery store on senior citizens Saturday? " and proceeded to RIP THE ENTIRE COUNTER ISLAND OFF. This was a mobile home so it wasn't the strongest but I was still floored. He threw it into the wall, leaving holes and told me I'd better have "this shit picked up" before he got home from work and left.
I stood there with tears leaking for I don't know how long. Then one finally fell, and I watched it hit my ankle and slide down, mingling with the blood from my cut foot from the baby food jars that broke. I watched my tear water down my blood and I got angry.
I called my friend and asked him to come with as many big men and trucks as he could find. The majority of the furniture I had brought when I foolishly moved in, and I was taking my son's belongings since there was no way I'd be leaving him there. (He was at his grandparents at the time with his sister, my daughter not by him. )
I had that entire house packed and gone before the crazy neighbor could even report it. It took us about a half hour to load seven trucks. My stepfather had a rental property and I moved right in.
Phone calls, over two hundred, from the instant he walked in his door. I didn't contact him at all. He signed the affadavit of parentage, and came after me for full custody.
Long story shorter, he didn't get it. My son was two when he came over demanding him and when I refused he left, but not before attempting to light my house on fire. Restraining orders only last six months where I'm from, but the judge allowed me an indefinite order.
To follow-up: The ex has been in anger management and therapy for six years. He is now allowed to see his son, four day trips a month under his father's supervision. He is a good dad to my son, but I'm always nervous when he goes and I'm always carefully checking him over and asking him innocent seeming questions to find out if anything happened. He has no idea why his dad and I aren't together and I'm not going to hurt him by telling him why I feel so overprotective of him. His dad has a new gf now, and she's very level headed and kind. I hope for all of our sakes his binge drinking and abuse is in the past. I'm happily engaged now and my son is amazing!
One night, we wee