Ron Swanson vs. Red Foreman at being a manly man

Ron gets a foot up his ass. Ron's eating habits are terrible, his cholesterol and blood pressure must be sky high. He is not exactly the model of physical fitness. Red is ex Military and you know he must have seen some crazy shit by the way he treats his family. Just the fear on Mrs. Foreman's face when Red is pissed off is enough to know that behind closed doors red is a man plagued by a blind vicious rage, haunted by the horrors of his past, for Christ sakes his wife spends half her time making sure he doesn't beat their son to death. Apart from being irreparably damaged by war- Red is a wiry son of a bitch and like Tyler Durden says (and consistent with my own experiences) "Skinny guys, they never go limp. They fight until they're burger. ..." Red is a scrapper he wont give up until he's dead. NOW Ron has the pounds on Red so of he can land a couple of big hits, a hay-maker or something right off the bat, catch Ol' Red off guard, then he could win, but I don't think Red ever gets caught of Guard. Red will keep Ron at bay with his left, and slip the jab. He's not going to go toe to toe just yet he's going to stay away from Ron's clumsy but powerful hooks. Then when Ron gets frustrated because he cant catch Red he's going to try take it to the ground but Red would never let that happen, he's gonna use his speed to avoid any take downs. Half way through round one Ron runs out of gas, his arms get full of Mud and that's when Red unloads on him starting with a brutal flurry of big body shots, a right , a left, another left and then a right cross to Ron's jaw, knocking out an exhausted Ron Swanson and then putting his foot in Ron's probably already strained colon.

/r/whowouldwin Thread