Let me begin by saying I have no idea of your background and I am not in anyway trying to be condescending. I am probably going to come off as a jerk. If so, I'm sorry. That isn't my intention. You may also know and disagree with everything I am about to say. In addition, I realize this may not be the response you're looking for from your post. However, I think it is important to understand Catholicism changes and evolves and is not the same in even most schools or dioceses. Two priests or Popes may have radically different views of the same subject. One of those views may be quite in line with modern culture. As a good Catholic, you can have views that are opposed to what you consider the primary Catholic view, particularly if it has a basis in history or the Bible. Your version of Catholic is not the only version of Catholic. The root of Catholicism, as I understand it, is philosophy. And not just philosophy, but ancient philosophy which required critical analysis and critical thinking skills. Instead, in my experience, a lot of Catholics see the current doctrine as if it is almost eternal and immutable when instead it is generally the product of cultural trends and even their location. Cardinal Dolan might have dinner and raise money for a candidate that a cardinal in Latin America might have bell, booked, and candled out of the Church. There were great Catholic debates about when/if abortion was acceptable by some of the greatest Catholic philosophers and scholars. Ensoulment guided much of the debate about abortion. Aquinas himself didn't see abortion as murder because, to my understanding, he believed babies were merely animals initially. (I'm prepared for someone on here to say, "well, he really meant...and he still thought...") The argument now, in my understanding, is about potentiality and not framed by many clergy the way most pro-lifers frame it. There was an article in National Catholic Reporter about the Catholic argument for contraception and it actually ended by citing Aquinas, not regarding ensoulment, but his belief that in our conscience we know God and that modern conscience and morality demand contraception and safe abortions for those in need. There are also sort of "Yeah, but..." Catholic get out of jail lines written into Canon. Like, abortion is terrible according to the Church and you will be excommunicated automatically. But...if you were scared or had some psychological reasons or impairments or were young then you're probably good..and bishops are going to remit and then absolve you of at least your first abortion generally. How many women do you think have abortions without psychological stress or fear being a factor and how many have them as minors or nearly so? Much of what makes you feel so counter cultural is likely relatively new to the Church or possibly just a surface level understanding or press. Take celibacy for priests. Peter had a wife. Pope Benedict proposed changing the rules of celibacy for priests. Pope John Paul II was adamantly against changing it. Pope Francis has basically said he is ambivalent and to him it is about discipline and not faith. In the past, priests were married. Most Catholics can't even imagine married priests with children or imagine themselves dating their priests. But the Church is iffy on it. Almost all areas of Catholicism have more give than most people understand, usually due to the particular exposure they have had. I went to a Basilian school and it was incredibly conservative and strict. Then I attended a Holy Cross school and they were inviting pro-choice candidates to speak and gave me the Story of O to read on my first day. They had, essentially, an LGBT studies program and gay pride events. At a Catholic school. A few hundred years ago the church would have gladly murdered those students and now they are helping them sell cupcakes to raise money for gay rights advocacy. There is often movement and context and opposing views within the church. It is okay to question or challenge or dissent. The Church is full of dissent and varying views. Don't feel counter cultural. Examine the evidence. Weigh history. Weigh doctrine. Weigh your view. Weigh your own morality. I did a capstone project about sex work. Whether it should be legal or not. Out of everyone I interviewed, possibly the strongest arguments for legalization came from nuns who worked with trafficking victims.
If your morality and views are simple or dogmatic, you probably need to dig deeper. But don't let your "Catholicism" prevent you from making decisions for yourself or examining the evidence or struggling with the morality of things. Catholicism should be about examination. If your particular church doesn't encourage that, maybe try the one down the street. I say that because questioning and challenging is a Catholic tradition and used as a means to promote positive change. One of my favorite professors is now an Episcopalian Deacon. She was excommunicated from the Catholic Church a few decades before I was born for leaving a man who severely abused her and probably would have hurt her child. That is not okay in the modern day. The policy was changed in the seventies. HIV and other STDs spread so quickly in part because of Catholic shelters not allowing women and children, who had no other options but to sell themselves, to use condoms. The women and children were hurt and so were other innocents. Some activists at least partially changed that policy a few years ago. If your view on an issue is settled and based on full knowledge of the people involved and their circumstances and all the possible moral ramifications of all actions, great. If it is not, maybe sit down and talk to some people and read some studies and statistics and put yourself in their position. And understand other Catholics may have done that and may have a different view. People will judge you for your views, but far less if you have weighed the evidence and not just said "I was taught...it's a sin..." And I apologize again if that is a rant. I just run across a lot of lay persons who accept dogma without any examination and then generalize from there and it gets to me. I'm not saying that is you, but it frustrates me because that is the exact opposite of what the Church teaches. Times like these are opportunies to examine your views and grow.