Do you want to spend thousands of dollars taking care of a tiny human who will almost entirely depend on you to stay alive? Do you like changing diapers when they're leaking out green stuff that looks like it could be radioactive? How about puke? Can you handle a baby puking in your face/directly into your mouth/all over your clothes? Do you enjoy getting sleep? Because if you have a kid, say goodbye to that shit. What about going to the bathroom, eating, showering in peace? Say goodbye to that too because as soon as you get a second to yourself the kid will either be a) screaming or b) chasing after you and banging on the bathroom door like a horror movie villain when they are able to. And having a sex life with the mother of your child is gonna be almost impossible because you'll both be exhausted and stressed. And if you don't plan on sticking around for whatever spawn you create, have fun paying child support out the ass. And going to court. And paying for court. And missing work for court. But you have to work because you have to pay child support.

And this isn't even mentioning STD's. Do you want syphilis to eat your brain? Oh... and about having a functioning immune system -- do you enjoy that? Do you like not being sick 24/7? Well if you catch AIDs then you're fucked. Have you ever had a sore on your dick before? No? Herpes can take care of that for you, and you'll get those sores randomly.. for the rest of your life! Have something really important to do like maybe go to a wedding or run an important meeting? That's gonna be difficult when all you can think about is the fact that you have an outbreak and your boxers are rubbing on it and it's hot outside and everything is terrible.

Wear a condom :)