So, the human body knows what it's doing - if you're eating enough and not overindulging on the daily, then you don't really have to count calories to maintain your weight. If you're a healthy weight and your body is meant to be there(like, your particular body type, everybody's ideal weight is different), then you will stay there.

Getting obsessive about the numbers tends to only make you feel worse. It might make you feel like you are in control, but it can also make you feel out of control and create obsessions, and feeling distressed if you go over the "safe" amount of calories.

I would recommend that you stop watching those videos. You can't know much about a person's life judging only from what they post online. You're only getting a snapshot. Plants tend to be less calorically dense anyway, but these people could be doing a lot of exercise as well that they may not be mentioning. That also may not be representative of what they eat EVERY day, that's just what they happened to eat that particular day.

So yeah, please force yourself to stop counting calories and stop watching the videos. It will be hard but if you want to feel better about yourself, you're gonna need to. The way to boost your self-esteem is not by being this regimented and placing this fear upon yourself.