UNpopular opinion: Personally I don't see anything wrong with the daughter not inviting you or your daughter to her wedding, as you aren't close, and there's a lot of friction there.

A lot of stepparents on here don't want their partner's child at their wedding or certain events if they don't get along. I also don't think it was your place to call her, as that added fuel to the fire.

That said, I think what you should be upset and are really upset about is your husband's behavior up this point. He has every right to have a relationship with his daughter without you, but he has zilch right to expect you to be disrespected in your own home or trash talked behind your back.

The fact he never did anything before to set boundaries or fix the situation is 100% on him, and he should demand that you be treated with respect in your own him as well as your daughter.

If you stay with him, you need to put place boundaries where you don't pay for anything for his daughter, or have to put up with her in any way if she's that disrespectful.

Cause his daughter has every right to have no relationship with you or any sibling she doesn't want to, but she has zilch to your money or insult or belittle you or access to your home.