When I was a kid, I had no choice but to go to church every Sunday. These were an hour and a half services, and I hated every second of it. I believe it was a baptist church here in Minnesota. Eventually I got older, and when in highschool I hated all things religious and was just a petty little smart ass shit about it (the worst kind of atheist). When I was old enough, I started sleeping in church regardless of what my parents said, then eventually refused to go especially when I started driving. I think a lot of my hate also had to do with my brother dying when I was at a very young age. I was bitter about a lot of things. I started getting interested in science during highschool and that didn't help. I started seeing quotes about atheism and scientists being religious regardless of their profession. Carl Sagan said something along the lines, "if you're an atheist you must know a lot more than me." I saw some Facebook post of my friend who had his father pass away, it said, "wherever you are, I hope you're ok." Wherever you are? That sounds like he wants to believe there is a place in the after life. Then it hit me. I want to see my loved ones again when I die regardless of what others try to tell me. I want to see my brother, and later my dad passed away and I wanted to see him again too. So I started asking questions like why would god do all this bad shit in the world? Well I figured he didn't, and god has nothing to do with anything in our lives. If we have free will, that means god can't do anything. I now believe god set everything into motion, and somehow astronomically we came out of this. With our free will we can choose to drive buses at a certain time that puts us on a collision course with a family vehicle who chose to not pay attention and run a stop sign. God did not want them to come home, and god didn't make that happen. We did. I now consider myself a christian, but the bible is a huge misinterpretation if real at all.