I've tried to forget about it so I don't fully remember what happened but my friend seemed to lose interest. I've gone pretty much my whole life without any friends so socializing is really difficult (not fishing for pity here). I'm also distant from my entire family which hasn't helped, and I feel heavy pot use has fucked up my mind a lot. I may have seemed overly engrossed in the friendship or came off as weird, which I'd guess got to them eventually, but at the time I was confused as they seemed to enjoy it as much as me. My difficulty with socializing probably didn't give them much reason to be my friend though. It's worth mentioning this friendship was entirely over the internet (we live on opposite ends of the earth) and was for roughly a year. Call it what you want but I believe people can be extremely close friends regardless of meeting in person. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to meet them in the future at some point in the friendship though.

We (more-so them) would talk pretty much all day, every day about everything in our lives, some of the stuff was really personal. We'd sometimes play a game/share screens and do stuff together. It made me feel amazing as I'd never had that before in my entire life, I could listen to them talk all day (read their text rather) and vice-versa, if appropriate or asked I'd share anything about myself (they seemed to as well but I didn't want to be intrusive so didn't ask too much) except for one thing which I thought would completely change their opinion of me and why I'm the way I am. Which was smoking a lot of weed. Yeah, I know it definitely did not help with my lack of social skills to put it positively, and probably messed up my mind a lot more than it already was, but it was ongoing prior to meeting them and one of the only things that made me feel good. I've just managed to stop and lose the urge to smoke though. We started talking with microphones which was pretty difficult for both of us but it felt really good to do it. However the difficulty of that (and probably heavy pot use) would make thinking about what I was saying beforehand incredibly difficult, I think I managed to hide that well and never explained it, so I just started saying odd things (I'd try to replace pauses of me trying to think by continuing to talk).

Eventually the uncomfortable-ness killed the voice chatting, the games and screen sharing stopped, the conversations died down to just asking what each other was doing at the time. We didn't have very interesting lives which didn't help with that. At that point I wanted to thoroughly explain what the friendship meant to me, I had no other friends and previous ones were never more than acquaintances, and literally ended in elementary school. But not coming out about smoking weed (though I wouldn't touch it until after our long daily conversations). So I tried to explain, probably came off as extremely weird, and got a response that was essentially they're not sure if they consider me a friend, all of the stuff we'd ever talked about (personal stuff included) they would be willing to share with just about anyone, just to get stuff off of their chest - i.e. the concept of friend versus stranger didn't seem to exist for them. You can probably imagine how I felt, I reacted by saying I don't want to speak to them anymore which I regret. It was simply met with an 'okay', it made me want to drive a knife into the next person I saw. That's the last we talked, I've just worked on forgetting that it ever happened. I've worked hard enough on forgetting about it that I don't even remember how long ago it was, maybe 8 months? Anyways I've been completely alone since and not enjoying life at all, now that I'm not smoking weed I have vivid dreams every night though. Often they give me a glimpse of a friendship that I want which keeps me going. This is totally the response you were looking for OP?

Sorry, I just wanted to write this and put it out there, hence the name. But in a place where said friend likely won't come across it. I'll probably end up deleting it before I go to bed in the next hour though. So don't bother reading it or replying if you don't have a strong urge to.