Omg. I am in the military. I asked my ex for a divorce and offered to pay for a moving truck for him to move back home, because he was depressed and didn't have a support network where we were stationed. I was really worried about him because of his poor reaction and the fact that he was still living with me, but was NOT coping well at all. I mean picking fights, begging me to take him back, then picking fights again. He wouldn't seek counseling and was spiraling.
So he finally agrees to move out. He tells me he is moving back with his parents, but actually, he moves across the street. To live with my elderly neighbor and her husband. For seven months. He sues me for alimony and when I try to ask him why (after we had agreed not even to file until he'd moved back home and found a job that would offer him insurance), he told me that he hired a lawyer and that he wouldn't speak to me anymore, but also was sure to tell me that he knew about things that I had done that he had no way of knowing unless he'd had somebody following me (I had told him I had a friend teaching me to drive stick, but suddenly he knew it was in a certain color vehicle, etc.). I hadn't done anything illegal or immoral, he just basically wanted me to know that I'd been followed. So I was upset because now I had to hire an attorney even though we had agreed to do this without them, and now he was suing me for alimony even though he and I both agreed we just wanted to move on.
He watched my house regularly, came out to snoop when I would go outside to let my dogs out. He watched from the porch when I mowed the lawn or when I had friends over. I had some friends move in to help pay the bills, and he would yell to them from across the street fishing for information. I basically had to live with my blinds shut and I could barely do anything with friends. I changed the locks on my house and that night he banged on my door telling me what I did was illegal and that he was going to call the cops (it wasn't, and he didn't). He only knew because my neighbor's husband would watch me during the day and report to him what he saw.
The emergency hearing he had requested to get me to start paying him alimony, even though he'd left the house that I now had to pay for, and the bills, and our joint debt, ended with me not paying him alimony, and he wasn't allowed to step foot on my property.
That didn't stop him from watching me from the neighbor's house and grilling my poor neighbor if she saw me to say hi. When he finally moved out and moved home, my neighbor told me about how he had gone off the deep end and would watch my house obsessively, and that he would talk about a Jeep that he believed was following him around, and take pictures of my house to try to find any way to mess with me (like, talking about calling the city because my grass grew too tall while I was overseas TDY). He went to my base JAG (not the correct office) and would try to convince them that I had stolen military tracking software and installed it onto his computer to track his computer activity. Later my neighbor found a USB drive that contained photos of my house, inside and out, from before he'd moved out, including my underwear drawer and my collection of sex toys. He had gone through one of my old phones and photographed texts and emails. He really went fucking nuts.
I'm just glad he didn't try to kill me or something. I lived in real fear for a long time. I also feared he would drive back to try to hurt me when I least suspected it, especially after learning the extent to his delusions and paranoia.
When the divorce decree was just over a month old, he sent me an email asking asking why my insurance dropped him. It was a small victory for me after the months of being a prisoner in my own home.