TL;DR: Became best friends with Crazy. Stuck dick in Crazy. Crazy has previously unmentioned boyfriend. Crazy and I try to stay friends. Crazy becomes abusive and manipulative. End of friendship.
I realized what a cruel, abusive, and manipulative person she was. We met my freshman year in college and then became best friends almost immediately after coming back after summer break my sophomore year. We spent every night together and had so much fun. Our friendship was honestly great in the beginning. Eventually we started sleeping together and a few weeks later I asked her to be my girlfriend. Turns out she already had a boyfriend from back home and was cheating on him with me.
I really should have ended it there but I was so afraid of being alone that we continued to try and make our friendship work. She would keep telling me she was in love with me and we would start to fall back into the affair and then she would take it back over and over again. It really messed with my head but I didn't want to lose my best friend so I would just take it. I offered her an incredible amount of love and support when she needed it and in return she was abusive and cruel to me. She constantly put me down, she constantly told me I could not tell my friends what she was doing to me (I did anyway), constantly making me feel like it was my fault she was hurting me.
The few times I asked her to talk about what she was doing to me she would start yelling at me and call me selfish and childish because I told her she was hurting me. It got to the point where I was too afraid to confront her because I didn't want her to hurt me anymore. That along with her constantly lying to me and manipulating me got to be too much. Eventually I spent every night in tears because I couldn't believe someone I cared so much about could care so little for me. I turned to self-harm because I couldn't handle it.
All of my friends, including the people who were her friends too, told me to get out. But I was too afraid. I made up excuses like "She doesn't mean to hurt me" and "It's not always like this" and all the bullshit people in abusive relationships say to try and justify why they are still in those relationships.
After a lot of pain and heartache, I decided that she is not someone I can have in my life anymore. Our friendship ended in January after she started yelling at me in the middle of a party and refused to speak to me after. She left me in a bad state. I barely left my apartment, I stopped going to certain classes because I was too afraid of seeing her, I started to become more distant from my other friends. After that I started going to counseling once a week and really worked on rebuilding myself after she destroyed me.
I had the opportunity to speak with her in March with a mutual friend in the room to keep things civil. She still won't acknowledge the mental abuse and how much she used and manipulated me. I've given up on her ever realizing what she has done. She is still with her boyfriend and she hasn't told him anything. She has also slept with other people after me and won't tell him about that either. After staying away from her for so long, I realized just how terrible of a person she is. Counseling has really helped, I've been able to take back control of my life and I haven't cut myself in a while. I'm so much happier and I have become a much better and stronger person without her. Sorry, I didn't mean for this to become a novel. I guess I just needed to vent a bit.