EDM. I am a crazy person. It's impossible for me to explain how I feel. Words like "happy" or "sad" or "hungry" don't come to me when it relates to myself. Its part of my disease and I was crippled by it. I sat in a car until I passed out from thirst because when I try to explain I need some fluid when I need fluid it doesn't work. Part of me is very insistent that I not live.

But I learned I could queue up stuff like Daft Punk's 2007 alive album and chop clips from it and it was the same signal my brain gives me when I feel something. I later identified it as feeling threatened but when I showed my partner the transition between "rolling and scratching: and "prime time of your life" he knew exactly what I needed and my needs were met quickly. Its magic to me. Its my way of communicating with normal humans. It evolved into me making my own sounds and songs and now its my easiest path to connecting to real human beings.

I love EDM and making EDM so much. Speaking fails me, and EDM steps in for it. It's enabled me to participate in therapy, friendships, relationships and heal. It actually even helps my speech. Its hard not to get started on just how much I LOVE tweaking presets and building different sounds. I can go perform live almost any night I want to in front of hundred and hug people or hunker down wrapped in a safety blanket with only fl studio for illumination. I am always safe in a bassline.

I accept I am as well as I will ever get and a lot of it is thanks to this genre of music whose fans have accepted me so well and that gave me a "voice". I'll never be the next Skrillex but I can finally tell my partner when I'm sad or happy or mad. When you've been locked away the way I am finding a universal way to communicate...well I have no words but I have this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5__Ogi4Tek