Ive noticed that to be a thing. I go in cycles with mine and during it I want to be isolated so noone sees to intervene and i can focus and be all encompassed in it without people worrying but also want someone to notice so they can get me out and encourage me because I know it's bad and never have quit on my own but I also do not want anyone "wasting" their energy on me. It makes no sense but happens every time. You want to be in it but also normal, and when I'm "normal" ,I feel like a part of me is missing. And I have never let it be called what it is , it is referred to as my food thing or weird eating is happening again. It feels like a constant cycle of horror.