I went for a hike one morning at my favorite spot along a river on the first snowy day of winter. I expected to be the only one there but there was another car in the parking lot. Something about it must've registered as a bit off since it had snow on it.
When I got down to the river I had the sudden thought that maybe the car's driver had come to river to hang himself from a tree, and maybe I'd be the one to find him. That thought horrified me and I quickly wrote it off as anxiety/intrusive thought. I remember thinking, fuck if that actually happened I'd never be able to come hiking here again.
I hiked along the river for about 20 minutes. Along the way I had this eerie feeling at one point, like someone was following me, but nobody was there. The scenery was gorgeous and I took a lot of pictures.
The hiking trail ended at a waterfall and I decided to go check out the river. I took some photos of the beautiful foliage as I walked to the river. I stood there gazing out at the water for a bit, then decided to head back.
When I turned around, I saw him: a young man hanging from a tree a short distance off the trail. I'd walked right by him the first time and didn't see.
My body was flooded with utter terror. As soon as I knew that what I was seeing was real (for a split second I thought maybe it was some sick joke), some calm inner voice took over and basically said, ok, let's get the fuck out of here and deal with the reality of it later. Part of me was worried that maybe it'd just happened and maybe I should've checked to see if he was still alive, but I think I knew he wasn't and I also knew I couldn't handle looking or approaching him in any way.
I called 911, which felt like a physically difficult task to get my phone to work because I was shaking and each second felt like an eternity. And because I was in kind of a ravine, my first three calls didn't go through. The first time, it sounded like someone answered and I said "hello?" But then all I heard was my own voice echoing back at me, "hello hello hello hello." It felt like a nightmare.
Finally I got through to someone and the dispatcher was amazing. She assured me that I did the right thing by calling and not going back to check. By the time I got back to the parking lot, there were like a half dozen emergency vehicles and a dozen law enforcement officers. They had to bring an airboat to get him out because the trail was so rugged.
I still have flashbacks every damn day and haven't been able to go back there, or hike anywhere by myself, since.