Anxiety.

I've had GAD since I was a child, about seven or so. It began as separation anxiety and manifested into its current state as I grew older. I've struggled with it my entire life, and even now as a 22 year old adult, the people in my life still don't completely understand.

It's more than feeling nervous or scared. It's lying in bed at night and replaying the same intrusive, irrational thoughts over and over in your head that you know aren't true, but still weigh heavily on your mind.

It's going to work each day and trying not to cry or have a panic attack because you can't handle excessive stress. Your anxiety messes with your brain and makes you overly sensitive and emotional to something as simple as having too many beverages to make and too many customers watching you make them.

It's taking medication and feeling normal most days, but every once in awhile slipping from routine or encountering a trigger you don't expect that sets you off for the first time in months.

Your body becomes numb and your blood cold when your anxious. I always tell people to think of a time when they've been most scared, and amplify that by a thousand.

People think it's a cute mental illness, but anxiety doesn't make you special or feel good. It's a heavy burden that affects my life every day, even though I have it under control. It impacts every decision I make, every thought, everything.

It's not easy to shut off this part of your brain, and some people don't understand we can't help it. But I think after awhile it gets easier to cope with and go about a normal life.