I'm really sorry you're going through this. I'm going to repeat what I thought the best advice in this entire thread was:

She's basically telling you that she has no intentions of having the healthy, normal marriage that you guys want. Believe her.

If everything you wrote about is completely true and the full story, then I would bet my next paycheck that she cheats on you. I'm sorry, I know I'm just a stranger on the Internet getting one side of the story, but stereotypes exist for a reason. For her to sexually "put up with you" for this long, and not communicate it until AFTER the wedding is just plain mean and shitty. This talk about taking a break, finding yourselves, etc. is her saying that she doesn't want him be with you; she's just too scared/ashamed to say it.

Seriously. Start moving on. This won't be easy or quick, this is going to be a glacial process for you (probably not for her though, usually how that works). And hopefully I'm wrong about all of this. But if everything you're saying is true, then... yeah. Listen to what she's saying to you. This was a mistake. It's okay, just start moving forward.