I am a guy and I was drugged and raped by a woman.
So I was dating someone for about a year and they ended up cheating on me. It was someone that I really went out of my way for so I was understandably hurt. I went a long time without dating, just waa tired of being fucked over by people.m
So I would say around 2014 or 2013 I decided to look around and see if I could find someone on OKCupid. I have wierd ass interests ( old obscure punk/ alternative/ goth/ reggae etc music, horror movies , philosopy, just stuff off the beaten path). I found someone into similar shit and she looked ok so we started talking there which led to texting and calls.
I gave myself an out with her and said I don't know if I am ready to date but I would like to hang out and see what happens. I get to her place as she is getting oit of her car snd I swear to god she had to be at least 150 lbs heavier than her pictures which must have been all camera angles and photoshop. I was going to just drive away becsuse how can I date someone starting things on an obvious lie.
But I felt bad for her because I figured it is a self esteem issure plus she was still cool and funny right? So I thouhht I would let her down easy and hang out. I said look I thought I was ready for something but I am not. I want to reiterate this is not a date, but new friends are always cool so if you want to hang out and only hang out I am down.If not I will drive home.She said she wanted to hang out.
So we are watching tv laughing listening to music and order food and go halves on it i was really having fun. She offered me a blowjob and I said I only want to be friends I dont want anything sexual.She and I were both whiskey drinkers and she had a single malt scotch I never tried and she offered me a drink. I told her 2 fingers, neat. She gave me a drink and it was lights out. It wasn't the booze because at that point in my life I could drink a fifth in 1 to 2 hours and be ok with it/ not passed out.
I come to conciousness in her bed and she is riding my dick without a condom, which I dont have unprotected sex, especially with strangers both due to STD risk and because I don't want kids. I don't know if because she was super big this was the only way she could get laid ( though I doubt it there is always a guy that will fuck anyone) or if she was trying to get pregnant to trap me into 18 years of child support.
I think I was given Rohypnol or GHB it was like being nonfunctionally drunk and passing in and out of conciousness. I pushed her off me and yelled you fucked up bitch what the fuck is wrong with you. She started saying " Im sorry I'm so sorry" like almost whimpering it..like I shpuld just accept an apology and shit would be cool.At that point my options were to either pass out again in the apartment of someone that raped me or drive from the middle of one of the largest cities in my state to 45 min away where I lived, barely concious.
I chose to drive.I don't know how I made it home alive. I just remember feeling like if I wreck and die it is better than staying with her. Almost my whole drive home wss black out and I remember nodding off at the wheel twice at lights.
I felt like I had no options. I never went to the police I figured at best they wouldnt take it seriously and at worst she would lie and say I raped her, turn on somefake bullshit tears offer to do a test, there would be proof of our sex, noone would believe me and I would be put in jail, and we know what happens to men with rape charges in prison. I felt the chance that she could lie and be believed made it too dangerous for me to go to police.
The few people that I trusted to tell that l thought were friends either made dumb comments like men cant get raped, or i sure wish a woman did that to me. This is really the first I felt safe talking about it. I don't feel like I am broken but it did give me trust issues, and unless you are my family member you are not pouring me a drink ever. Let me also say I am not physically weak/ know how to fight and at that time I was doing mixed martial arts with full contact fighting and weapons forms. But self defense capibility doesnt matter when you are drugged.
I don't disassociate or have PTSD, it was an awful shit experience of course. I want to highlight that people don't take men being raped seriously, and there is a rediculous double standard.
Don't beat yourself up for trusting another person to not be a piece of shit.