Here's part 1:
I trying to help De Kock. But he being moody bastard.
I ask twitter for blue tick. Instead they send me red cross. Is like being back in school & getting exam back. Which other man do for you.
Umar Akmal remind me of Sangakarra & Amla. Cos if you rearrange letter in his name you get Kumar Amla.
Looks like I gonna be back vs Ireland! Finally some people in green shirts gonna be happy about my selection.
Thug farmer mode activated.
India is great neighbour. Today they help Pakistan. There BCCI, I say what you ask. Now give my buffalo back with all milk inside still.
Many people trying to get Big Nas twitter life ban. If my account go, I just want say, I love you all.
Has cricketer Nasir Jamshed's parody account gone too far? http://www.dawn.com/news/1168623/ #Pakistan
Behind computer all Bengali boys 6ft with big testicle. In real life all 5ft 1 Mushfiqurs with little goldfish in trouser.
All day I getting message from Bengalis; "I want do rape on you", "Son of beach", "Busterd", "Porkistani", "Fuckistani". Nice people.
Bangladeshi people on my timeline for last 3 hour...
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 I actually learn English from Bengali teacher.
abir @abiiir83 • Mar 9 @NasirJamshed_ motherfucker lousy bastard you also don't forget 1971 ever! you tterrorist nation son of a beach.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 Bengali people sending lot of abuse. They no used to jokes against them. This what happen if normally you mostly shit & no one notice you.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 Today I think I ruin all chance of Big Nas getting BPL contract ever again.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 Mother phone & tell me price of egg & tomato going up back home. "Balle! What about shoe necklace?" I ask. "They still cheap" she say. Shit.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 England get destroyed by Rubel Hossain. He also have rape case open in Bangladesh. This boy is full time criminal, part time cricketer.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 Bangladesh celebrating like they win 1971 war! And this time they do without India help. #ENGvBAN
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 England team fighting like cornered fish. #ENGvBAN
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 Moeen Ali just text me "If I qualify for Pakistan how long before I get in team?". Too long. Get in line. There is queue. I waiting myself.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 Next World Cup only gonna have 10 best team in world. I feel sad. That gonna be first World Cup without England team.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 Misbah get hammer & say "If I pick you again hit me in head with this". Shit. I better practice cos I no able to middle anything right now.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 9 50 (000 follower) up for Big Nas. Only take 1.5 year. Faster than Misbah 50.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 8 Once there was opener who scoring centuries for fun vs India. Then he come to WC 2015 & become laughing stock. But De Kock will be back.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 8 You got body of Salim Malik & batting of Veena Malik Misbah say to me. Lala say he disagree. He say "Body & batting both like Veena Malik"
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 8 I fall asleep during our bowling yesterday. All night before I sitting in rocking chair turning lamp on off with Sarfraz photo on wall.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 7 WC ours! I say. "Learn how to walk 1st!" Waqar shout. Wahab teaching me. It actually easy when you realise both feet can no move together.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 7 We break WC duck against SA. We gonna break WC duck against Ireland. Then in final, with help of rested & refresh Big Nas, we break India.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 7 What a win! I feel fully responsible cos if I do spank on weak teams in early games then now maybe we no celebrating win like this #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Why replay take so long? Shehzad can play innings, get out, do shower, take selfie & upload selfie faster than this. #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Rain have ruined this game. Tea break only 10 minute now! What the bloody shit. #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Misbah shades of grey. #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Umar Akmal have foundation on his face than in his batting. #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 De Villier can bat, ball, wicketkeep, field. Is anything he can no do? Waqar say. "That shot Younis just do" I say. #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Every kanjar thinking he superstar Hussain Bolt 100m champion today. Big Nas 1 - 0 Pakistan #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 I just think of funny tweet. Huehuehue #PakVsSA
View photos and videos
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Sarfraz shit ok. I just set bar very very low. Stop getting excite. #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 I play 3 match and not 1 ball go past my outside edge. A couple past inside edge but that different story. #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Friday me Moin meet palm reader. He say I gonna score 100 today. He tell Moin what numbers to bet in casino. Moin lose $500. We want refund.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Time to put flip flop on, put feet up & finish my colouring book. Just like West Indies game. #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Misbah say "Plan A... we hoping for rain". Umar get excited & say "I got this". #PakVsSA
View photos and videos
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 No Hafeez so you mine Steyn say to me. "I been drop" I say. Then he point at Shehzad. "He Lala's" I say. He walk away looking sad #PakVsSA
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 3 hour 40 minute until I need to take drinks out from freezer and put outside at room temperature.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 Misbah I hope your buffaloes get foot and mouth and tail and horn disease.
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 6 I been drop for SA game. Waqar jealous that I injure finger against West Indies but I still having 10 fingers.
View translation Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 5 Win percentage in WC so far Shehzad 50% Haris 50% Umar 50% Sohaib 50% Misbah 50% Lala 50% Irfan 50% Wahab 50% Younis 0% Big Nas 67%
Nasir Jamshed karachikhatmal @karachikhatmal • Mar 5 The best thing about this World Cup is an account we knew to be awesome for a year or two has gone truly global. Take a bow @NasirJamshed_
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 5 Sarfraz trying everything to get select for SA game. He just trim Misbah ear and nose hair for him!
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 5 If I no perform against SA then I have no drank my neighbour buffalo's milk. This what you get Bashir if you steal my chicken eggs!
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 5 Waqar put one hand on each of my cheek & his forehead on mine & say "I put lot of trust in you. Please... DO SOMETHING YOU FAT FUCK!"
Nasir Jamshed @NasirJamshed_ • Mar 4 0, 1, 4... 9, 16, 25, 36, 49, 64, 81, 100, 121, 144, 169, 196, 225, 256, 289. In 15 ODI I due to break world record ODI score. Be patient.