jfwiw...Coming up on 25 years here. I've always been in the middle of AA action-wise. I do the deal. AA is by far the best thing that ever happened to me. That said, sometimes I'm feeling "it" and sometimes I'm not. What I've found, for me anyway, is that when my life and my thoughts are about me I always end up with a "something's missing" feeling. On my own, my life can only be about my comfort, pleasure, being right about stuff and feeling safe. Everything kind of fits in those broad categories. The thing is, comfort, pleasure, etc (as much as I like and seek those things) have a short shelf life. Pleasure? Sure that was great, now what? Comfort? yeah, feeling comfy but pretty soon "something's missing" pops up. However, when my life and thoughts are about others, a whole new level of experiencing becomes possible. Maybe call it "aliveness"? It's a freedom and spontaneity and a feeling of "being in the zone". In short, if my life's about me, pretty soon it seems like my happiness lies "out there" is some imagined future circumstance. If my life's about you, I'm already happy and satisfied here and now. again, jfwiw