^ I watched a Zack Snyder film once, and it changed my life. Suddenly my inner eye was open to symbolism. At first, all I did was watch Snyder's movies. I couldn't get enough of them. I wept for those who didn't see the true depth of Zach's vision. Every film I watched since then felt so hollow and soulless. Where were the subtle allegories? The intense slow motion action scenes? So I took it upon myself to re edit movies to a form that perhaps Zack Snyder himself would be proud of. I'm certainly not one who is in the same league of talent as this man, but the best I could do was devote my life to his art. The first movie I edited was Guardians of the Galaxy. First I toned down the colors. I cut out most of the jokes. I put the Turkish Airlines logo on Quill's ship. Edited crosses into scenes to give them extra symbolism. Scenes without slow motion were given slow motion. They looked choppier because they weren't filmed at a high framerate, but that was a necessary sacrifice. Then I added blood. Star Lord wasn't some sissy. He MURDERED people. And people who didn't understand that were living in a fantasy world. That was the first of countless movies I edited. But even then it was not enough for me. I started wearing sunglasses at all times, even indoors, even at night. Zach understands that this world can deceive us with its apparent brightness, and he declines to let it fool him. I would be the same way. The only time I would take off my sunglasses was when I looked at religious imagery and think about how it relates to Superman's timeless struggle. Then I destroyed an entire city in a fist fight with some guy who hated my dad. Since then, I've been in a prison, drinking nothing but Granny's Peach Tea. But I know that Zach Snyder is proud of me.

Yes