I definitely hit rock bottom. Fresh out of high school, i was strong and independent. 2 jobs and went to college full time, living on my own. Guns blazing. 6 years later, messed up paperwork led to me not getting paid for 4 months (i actually just got paid today), barely graduating college, and long term relationship issues with boyfriend and parents led to the worst, emotional downward spiral i never could have imagined. I went from saving 12k to $2.03 in the bank. to save money on propane gas i skipped showers and used the cold showers only at noon time. I would eat once a day, sometimes trying to make the days pasta into a 2-3 day meal, just nibbling at it. A lot of my meals were just nibbles. My stomach stopped growling so much and i was used to it when it did. I borrowed close to 800 from friends. Despite my food and spending costs going to an all time low, i went to cigarettes and alcohol on a daily basis. I pushed some friends away by not responding. I stopped going to class except to turn in hw. Constantly embarassed at my life and ashamed of where i was heading but didnt know where else to go. Time with the family was just a charade that everything is still okay (too much pride to go home). I was heartbroken, severely depressed with anxiety, hopeless and lost a lot of values. I lost a lot of respect for myself and others around me, including my boss. I didnt care. I think thats what made it scary, but i realized it only once i got out of it. When I didnt care, i went beserk. Now that I think about it, I basically fucked a guy for booze.