I feel it does apply because the intent can absolutely be "I did it to help" and the result can still be "you did it in a condescending way". I have had serious problems with this in the past myself because I don't communicate well, so I've had to work damn hard on speaking clearly and concisely in the workplace particularly, as that's where you're most likely for it to get you in trouble.
you're bringing feelings into the equation
When you're dealing with any situation involving a dispute between two or more people, that's unavoidable. But I think you're putting too narrow a definition on my link when you say:
It's almost saying that women need special consideration
The post does not talk specifically about how women need more consideration, nor does it say "women and minorities: they need to feel special!" It's about keeping any privilege you may have in the back of your mind during interactions - e.g. I am a white, cis, heterosexual, able bodied woman. There are a lot of people I could offend with words or even inflection, so I tend to tread a hell of a lot more carefully, if at all, when the conversation turns to any of those topics, because I don't want to cause offense or injury, even unintentionally, to someone who has dealt with things I have never and probably will never have to deal with. I don't really see that as unfair - it's just knowing to either stick to topics I'm familiar with, or tread carefully and learn from the people who've lived those experiences how to discuss them while - hopefully - making as few mistakes as possible. If someone comes to me and says "that thing you said made me feel bad because it made me feel _______ as a ______", then I'd want to consider that very carefully in light of who I am. And I'm not even saying "I definitely should apologize". Again, both the situation you linked and this post are way too short and one-sided to make any sort of call there and I am speaking in very, very general terms about similar interactions.
And let's be honest: this is a serious accusation!
I would argue that, at least for your example. Being talked to once about your ability to work with other employees certainly isn't fun, but it's not a big deal, and OP's description did sound like they were pretty clear that they didn't want to make it a big deal, they just asked him to approach things in a different manner in the future. It happens to people who don't offer the credit card to every customer at the till, it happens to people who talk a little too long with a friend when they're supposed to be working - if it's a one-off, it's going to get filed and forgotten. The issue would be if it keeps happening, but at that point the question is, why is it happening again?
If it's just one person then yeah, there's an issue there that's got to be dealt with and it might be difficult to decide if it's one person with a grudge or one person with an inability to talk to women like people. For all we know that absolutely could have been a case of a co-worker with a grudge or just an attitude problem in general being an asshole. The good news: if it is, HR tends to recognize those people a mile away after awhile. They're pretty easy to spot.
If it's multiple people, then the person in question really needs to sit down and consider their options. Either: