I find the idea of ceasing to exist very comforting. The sweet release of death can be tempting sometimes.

Before you consider existing early, ask yourself the following:

1- Are there any solutions to my problem? 2- Did I try hard enough to slove my problems or is there room for improvements? 3- Are my problems worth pulling the plug this early?

I tend to think of life as a game, where nothing matters, we're all gonna die, and take it from there. You get only one shot in life, you're not special, nor is anybody. It's up to you how long you wanna keep this game going.

You have no moral obligation to stay alive, even if others depend on you, but I will consider their emotional trauma when I decide to exist.

You're not clinically depressed as far as I can tell. You seem depressed because of your financial situation. So try to work on it, take some responsibility, and learn to enjoy pain.