I was out for the night with a few friends and we decided to start in some new pub for a few drinks. We had a few pints, met everyone else and got the final round in before planning on going to a few clubs for the rest of the night. While we were having our last drink, a few girls from the opposite table came over and said they were heading out now and asked if anyone wanted the last of their bowl (a big jug of cocktail). Everyone rather aggressively declined. One of the guys we were with had been chatting to these girls on and off all night as he knew them from school, so I just thought they were taking the piss or something. As I know know, like an idiot I grabbed the bowl, chugged it down, laughed it off and we left.
The horriblest feeling ever came over me about 15 minutes later as we got to the club. I bought one bottle and had to nurse it. Just the smell of alcohol was knocking me sick. While trying to hold it together I felt myself burning up so ran outside and threw my guts up. As soon as I threw up I felt absolutely slaughtered, even though I'd only had a few pints and a glass of some random cocktail. I literally couldn't walk and kept falling over but carried on stumbling home. The last thing I remember was phoning some girl I liked, a mistake in itself while feeling hammered, and chatting shit to her for a bit.
Literally the next thing I remember was being helped in to the back of some car. Some old guy, his wife and some kid in the backseat were all in the car and I was absolutely fucking terrified. At the same time, I was completely gone.. I had no idea what was happening but couldn't do anything to control it. They asked me where I lived and I couldn't even tell them so they just started driving me down the road. The kid (I say kid, he was just short and baby faced - he'd clearly been on a night out too) in the back leant over said he found me lying by the side of the road and as he tried to help me up this couple stopped and offered to take me home. He said he chose to come to just to make sure I got home ok.
I STILL didn't understand what the fuck was happening. None of it made sense. I looked at the couple in the front, looked back at the guy, stared blankly at him for a few seconds and said..
"Is that fat lady this man's wife?"
We were immediately asked to leave the car. As it was though, it turns out I managed to get round the corner from my house as it was and they dropped me even closer. As we started walking home I checked my phone to find about 20 missed calls and a bunch of messages. Turns out I rang this girl at 11pm and passed out while on the phone to her. It was now 3am and judging my the texts, I'd been out cold since half 11. I also managed to bag myself a date that I couldn't remember.
Next thing, we're at the top of my street and the guy disappears. Gone. Nothing. No name, no nothing. Just me and all my organs intact.
I have no idea if the guy driving was being seedy or not; maybe he was actually being nice? Maybe he had every intention to masturbate while watching his wife peg me? I'll never know. All I do know is that a mystery bro took the plunge to ensure I could wake up the following morning and realise that I should never take drinks from strangers.
TL;DR? Pretty sure I drank a spiked drink. Tried to walk home like a hero and passed out for 4 hours. Some man and his wife tried to put me in their car and some stranger got in to to make sure I got home safe. I called the driver man's wife fat by accident.