Here you go. I'm feeling nice:

This was the most embarrassing moment of my damn life. Happened a few years ago, not today for those who really care. So I go to my girlfriends house to help her with some shit for school. I bring my laptop over and we get to working on whatever it was. We were sitting in her kitchen with the rest of her family: her mom, dad, brother and her Grandmammy. Her Grandmammy is the fucking sweetest lady you ever met. Good Christian chick who wears a rosary around her neck and always saying things like "God be good" at random times that don't call for God's blessing. She just that thankful to the big guy. So it's getting late and everyone goes to bed. Parents and bro sleep upstairs, the Grandmammy sleep downstairs in a room that is right off from the kitchen. This is important to know! Anyways, me and my GF working on this shit and I get in the fucking zone. She bored as hell and don't want to do the work, so being the devil she is, she trying to distract me. She slides her hand up my shorts and starts playing with my manhood. Not one to deny a girl playing with my dick, I let her do her thing, but honest I was so into doing this work that I kept doing my own thing. Seeing as I wasn't going to budge from being a diligent student and doing this work (which was her own shit that I was doing nicely for her) she proceeds to unzip my fly. We all know what happens next. She down there sucking me good and I'm only human and get out of that zone to enjoy this. Thoroughly. Grandmammy must have been sitting in her room sensing a disturbance in the holy air. God must have warned her that some sinning was going on right outside her room and she wasn't about to have that. I don't really know, but what I do know is that I'm sitting in that chair enjoying the beautiful sensations of my girlfriends throat wrapped around my dick. That is until I look up and I realize I'm in a fucking stare down with Grandmammy. She starts yelling at the top of her damn voice "I KNOW I AINT RAISED NO SLUTTY WHORE" "WHATCHU THINK YOU DOIN" "BOY GET THE FUCK UP OUTTA MY HOUSE" At least I assume that's what she said. I was so freaked out that in an attempt to run away and hide from the situation, I attempt to stand up. The thing is, this all happened so quickly that my girlfriend didn't have time to get off my dick. She still down there when I get up and that means I'm stuffing my dick further down her throat. Poor thing, that triggered her gag reflex and she gags and gets up and runs to the sink to throw up. So she over there throwing up and I'm standing up with my dick hanging out of my shorts with all hell being unleashed on me from Grandmammy. "PUTCHO DICK AWAY" is something that I know for sure that she said to me right there. So I hastily return my dick back in my shorts as GF's Dad come in the room to see what is going on. My first concern is to check on my girlfriend who puking but Lord knows I aint never touch her again with the eyes of Sauron on me. Grandmammy start yelling at GF dad telling him what she seen and how disgusted she is. Thankfully, Dad was more concerned about his daughter than beating my ass, so he checked on her. I go to see how she's doing and Grandmammy yelling at me to get away from her. Girlfriend looks at me to let me know she's ok and I give her a little head nod meaning that "I gotta get the fuck out of here" and she gets it. I pack up my laptop, head for the door and get a clean smack on the back of my head from Grandmammy (deserved ma'am) and I head on home. My girlfriend and I broke up after that, but only to appease her family and avoid awkwardness. We still hung out quite a bit after that, but never at her house. Kinda sucked (ha!) it came to that, but we still good to this day. Grandmammy, however, passed away last night. As much as she hated me, she was a good woman. I'll miss that lady. RIP. TL;DR Got head from girlfriend, got caught by her grandmammy, all hell let loose. Edit: Damn, this blew up. I made this comment a little earlier, but I figured I'd put it here in the OP. It's the aftermath, basically. After I left that night, Grandmammy was furious with her. Her parents were too, but they were more chill about it and they did typical parent shit and would make her do more chores or whatever. Grandmammy wasn't so easy to forgive. Eventually at some point, girlfriend sits down with Grandmammy and bawls her eyes out and they talk about it. I'm sure there was some sappy shit that they went over, but end point is that they made up and continued with a very close bond. They always had been incredibly close and this was just one of those coming of age moments. Enough of girlfriend, I know you all just want to know about me. I saw Grandmammy around from time to time over the following years and I avoided her best I could. Even two or three years after that night, I still got that "ohfuckohfuckohfuck" feeling in my stomach whenever I saw her family. The awkwardness was just too painful. For this next part, I need to get real for a second and it will help explain things. Growing up where I did, not a lot of people went to college or did much with their lives. I did make it out and I went to a pretty good university. Grandmammy knew this and I know she was proud of me for that. So in that sense, yes she made it up to me. In all other senses, she would have beat the shit out of me with a crowbar if it didn't mean eternal damnation for her. That last sentence is a joke. Calm yourself. Also, I think a lot of you are mistaking Grandmammy as some horrible prude who ruined our lives. Shut the fuck up. No, she didn't. Did she approve of it? No, she's an old religious lady. Of course she didn't. It is what it is. She didn't ruin the relationship between me and my girlfriend. As I mentioned before, we still hung out and are friends to this day. It's not like we were in a longterm serious relationship. We were fucking idiotic teenagers in high school. Some of y'all need to get over yourselves and enjoy a laugh.