TIL that an autistic man,who was called "stupid" by a gym instructor,taught himself law and won a discrimination lawsuit against the gym.

Thank you guys for sharing like this.

I've long suspected that I'm autistic but never pursued professional assistance or diagnosis. Even back when I was a five or six year old kid, I had suspicions. But back then it took the form of wondering if I'm one of them aliens wearing a human disguise like I'd seen in movies/cartoons because I often felt and acted kind of like them.

I've been able to hold down steady employment as a professional my entire adult post-college life, but it's been a rough ride internally. I can pick up the technical aspects of a job quickly, but it's always the social or emotional aspects of it that I grapple with.

Whenever someone was orienting me to a place or showing me some new procedure or equipment, I wasn't even paying that much attention to the technical side of what they were doing because I usually already had it down early on or beforehand because I hate not being overprepared. I was paying more attention to how they communicated verbally and nonverbally with the team and the patient or whoever and committing that to memory to practice alone later or miming along to it in my head.

Adulthood's been a sometimes disaster socially and romantically though because the exhaustively practiced charismatic way I act in public or at work or when I first meet someone is very different from how I actually am. Of the many people I've tried to befriend, they've all been whittled down to a very short list of other misfits who are comfortable with how weird and unreliable I am as a friend.

I take excellent, maybe obsessive care of myself physically in terms of exercise, diet, and style. It makes a huge difference in people's first and ongoing impression of you, and it's a hell of a lot easier for me to control and maintain than the interpersonal interactions and maintenance that achieve the same effects. The downside to that is it attracts romantic attention from women and sometimes men when you don't necessarily want it to.

Most romantic relationships go down in flames. I learned long ago to avoid relationships with people I work with or the friends of people I work with. I can't maintain that veneer of normalcy and also be intimate or genuine with a girlfriend. And I don't want to maintain the veneer when I'm trying to enjoy life outside of work. It's exhausting. So it got back to my coworkers once before that I was a weirdo, emotionally cold, flakey, etc. when I dated a coworker and then dated another coworker's friend after that.

But the best, longest-lasting one so far was after that disaster with a married woman I met through work. She and her husband are from a culture where not being married after college is severely frowned upon, and divorce is basically asking to become a pariah within that community. So by the time I'd entered the picture, they'd already long ago separated romantically but remained married and living together for the sake of appearances and their kids. Her husband had started to very discreetly date men, and after a bit of fighting, he gave her his blessing to also be free to have discreet boyfriends.

Because she worked so much and had a bunch of family and social obligations to keep up with, it was a huge load off of my shoulders emotionally. We'd see eachother only once or twice a week outside of work, and she rarely bombarded me with texts or long phone calls.

It's been a hell of a journey, but I'm finally at the point where I'm coasting along and comfortable and not lonely with only having my tiny circle of friends I see irregularly and don't feel the drive to pursue romantic relationships as doggedly as before. I take long breaks between relationships and trying to make new friends and have come to better appreciate my solitude and traveling alone on my days off.

/r/todayilearned Thread Parent Link - independent.co.uk