I think you are an atheist, since it seems like you don't accept the claim "god exists" like a theist would.

I don't read minds but maybe you feel torn because of all the things you were told by your family and social circle that you once believed to be true, then you were doubtful and now it seems like you don't find them compelling to grant belief in them, maybe you feel betrayed... But please bear in mind that they weren't trying to deceive you or lie to you(it's hard, sometimes I still think that apologists are being deceitful), don't take it out on your family and friends, they were as much a victim as you were.

Ultimately you don't decide whether you believe something or not, you don't have a conscious say in that process, but you can decide to get more and better information that will inform that decision, for this topics, watching debates is a great and easy source.

For example, I don't like your "reason" about the existing many religions, because the many options don't demonstrate that all of them are false, but with more information the better reasons you'll have.