Eh I feel the same. I kinda lost everything that was good in my life due to depression and drug addicted parents who sold all of my possessions of value that I bought. I’m like not even 2 months on HRT not out, but openish about it and I feel happy for the first time since 14. My life is still hell and I’ve gotten so comfortable sleeping on hard surfaces I can sleep rather lovely on the floor. But I kinda figured I wanted to die and I have no real family, 0 friends and lost an accepting boyfriend of several and music career. So might as well give it a shot and just throw caution to the wind cause worst case scenario I’d still end up where I would of been anyway.

Life’s too short to plague yourself with overthinking stuff that will ultimately change as time progresses.