First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your father, my condolences.

I'm no expert on quitting, I've had my fair share of success and failure, but there is some advice I can share which I hope might help you.

You talk about trying to silence that "little voice" in your head. Of course we all know exactly what you mean by this, we have that voice too. But I believe that thinking you have to silence that voice is going to do you more harm than good. It's a similar type of thinking seen in people who are attempting to learn how to meditate and think they have to first learn to silence their mind in order to become good at meditating. But that's not what meditation is. Meditation is not being able to turn off your thoughts, because we can't do that. Thinking thoughts is what the brain does.

And that is almost entirely what that "little voice" in your head is: just a thought like any other. The trick is to observe this thought, and realize that you are not every thought that passes through your head. Watch the thought pop up, acknowledge it, and then watch it pass.

You can't control what foods you crave at any given moment, or explain why one moment you want cheese when in another you want chocolate. Cigarettes are no different and you can't control what thoughts or cravings you might have at any given time. But you must realize that what you crave is out of your control. Hopefully, seeing the difference between what you think and who you are, can help free your from the illusion of control that your thoughts seem to have on you.

The brain is so susceptible to internalization that it often makes us prisoners of it. We think of something that could go wrong and suddenly we feel anxious, even though nothing has gone wrong. Or we think that because we don't have much confidence to do something we've never done before, that makes us cowards. But it's not cowardly to not be confident about doing something you've never done before, it's natural. That's how confidence works. You get more of it the more you do the thing you're afraid of.

Remember, you are not your thoughts, so STOP feeling guilty when you hear that voice, stop feeling like every time you crave a cigarette that you're somehow a bad person for it. Because if you keep believing that lie, you'll just end up justifying having another cigarette because you believe you're a bad person. Watch the craving arise, notice how it makes you feel, watch it as it passes, make note of when it's gone.

As far as going out for a smoke being romanticized, that's okay too, don't feel bad about it. But maybe, break down what is romantic about it. Often smokers don't replace their usual smoke breaks with anything when they try to quit. Go for a five minute walk. Meditate for 5 minutes. Maybe just go outside and call a friend just to say Hi. Go into another room and stretch or do a few yoga poses. Lie down and read a short story. Make a cup of tea. There are any number of little ritualistic activities or little breaks you could take that could start to shift your thinking away from a smoke break being the only reprieve you have from your day.

Well I hope this helps! Sorry for the short novel here, but it's a concept that I think is important to understand and helps me in many aspects of my life.