Man I feel this so much. I’d quit for like 18 months then decided this year to smoke “just one” to usher in a new era of repentance and growth circa lent 2019. Result? Was back to my deadly habit almost immediately (but with a new twist that smoking made my lungs feel terrible and was causing all kinds of unpleasant nerve pain through my shoulder and arm).

I’m just today back to being off cigarettes for 6 days, and there is still in my head a hamster wheel spinning with “why not have just one more and quit on New Year’s Eve.” I have this weird magical belief in the power of the “last one”, which my addiction is really trying to leverage to get me back on the nicotine train.