TW: TFMR, ugly vent/tantrum

I'm having an ugly feelings day today. A close friend had a scare where her baby was potentially going to be diagnosed with a genetic condition. I had to comfort her about stats, and she said "someone has to be that statistic" while talking about herself, and it's really triggered me. Yep bitch, that was me, I was one of those statistics. I'm so mad that of all my friends I'm the only one who had genetic testing done, and then I'm the one who had the sick baby that we decided to let go. So many of them had 'scares' of different kinds and they all came out fine. I know none of it's related, but it just makes me angry. I did the field work, I read the books on optimal nutrition, I did every pre-conception test available. The rest of them just bumbled into it and all came out with healthy babies. I'm obviously really glad her baby is okay, but i'm having a 'happy for your sad (furious) for me' moment. I'm having an I hate everyone else moment. I'm normally okay, but i'm just so mad that I had to comfort her about this less than two weeks after losing my own baby. Also her baby has a dumb name, there I said it. Okay - now i'm done.